A New Beginning.

I can sense my heart beat, my palms are moist, there is a weird coldness running through my body making me weak in my knees. I can’t stop nibbling on my lower lip; neither the pencil suspended in my fingers would stop shaking uncontrollably. I stare blankly at the Knowledge Representation assignment sheet, the symbols on it are impudent, and probably the entire afternoon seemed to be absurd after the online conversation. Again, I try to focus on the assignment at hand but my thoughts keep drifting back to the conversation I had with Anurag. I decide to jump through hoop with my assignment allowing my mind to wander later.  Two hours straight into the worksheet and I was done with my assignment. I stapled the assignment and tossed it on to the pile of reference books wondering why logic was such a pain with muddy child problem.

Usually, Sunday afternoons are quiet at Harold Cohen library. On any other Sunday you would have found me with my friends hanging around city center but today was special I was desperately waiting for an e-mail at the library. It was 3 pm in UK and almost 9ish pm in India. Anurag had assured me that the concern person would e-mail me by evening. My head was choked with irrational possibilities. Utter chaos! It was late; “HE” should have written a mail by now. Perhaps he is not interested in knowing what I had to say. Most likely the rumor about the Russian girl was true. Did I turn him off by taking the initiative? Or is he the coy, introvert category guy? Does he find me desperate? Have I ruined it by taking my chances on a dead meat? My mind was dishing out junk and there was no way to shut it up. I was perplexed perhaps a bit more nervous. Aah! The great woman mind was working overtime. I convinced myself not to over think and allow fate to take its course.  

It is so difficult, to stay put, knowing nothing can be done but to wait patiently. Each second magnifies into an hour. Anxious, eager, confusion all sorts of emotion medley is playing on my mind. Somehow my head wants to screw up my heart or was it my heart screwing up my head anyway both were triumphant in making me edgy. I walk myself through the corridor down to the basement washroom. On my way I keep checking my watch and calculating the time six hours ahead, “Useless me” I curse myself. Funny though we try to calm ourselves in front of the mirror, I did the same. After that I decided to quickly grab a chicken patty from Gregg's and make it back to the study room. I scanned my college ID and briskly started walking towards Gregg's  five minutes across the Harold Cohen library.

Halfway, near the university square my phone beeped. I had a new mail in my inbox. Hurriedly I got hold of my phone and checked; it was him! He had mailed, finally!